Zarkab Kittub and Revisiting my place

I am back in France.  I run a hospital there strangely.  They call me by the name above.  I see my friends in the hospital, a French couple I once met with my then girlfriend A.  We talk and I explain that I am no longer with her.  My friends girlfriend asks me if I would like to see some pictures of all of us together.  I do, she then proceeds to lead me to a telescope and to look through it.  As I look through, it is like looking into the past with moving images and the more I adjust the telescope the more I see.  I look at A and revel in her beauty and that ultimately it didn't work out and that I feel as though it was my fault.  I look away from the telescope with some sadness but not overwhelming emotion.  We then hop in a car and are driving around a big bend in Marseile.  That is all I remember.

I revisited the place of my waking dream.  I enter the room of presents and decide to proceed through the tunnel.  On the other side the beach is very beautiful again.  I carry my football playfully tossing it up in the air.  My ring is on my finger and the mezuzah around my neck.  The baseball and the cage have strangely shrunken to the size of a keychain that hangs carelessly and somewhat stylishly onto my striped bathing suit.  I spot a thatched hut and walk in.  The room has 2 walls of books, one side is a record of all of my lives.  Intuitively I see it as a repository of the lessons of my life.  On the right as if I am standing looking out of the building, is another wall of books that I see as books of wisdom.  In the center is a table and chairs.  On the table is the picture of my wedding.  As I pick up the photo, around 3-4 books on my left glow a warm and beautiful light that fills the room which is dark but not uncomfortable.   For some reason the books on the other side of the room also become more accessible in some way when this happens.  There is a lesson of love that I am in store for either that is what I hope or what I intuitively feel, I am not sure which.   I do not feel inclined to pick up any of the books on the right side or the left, I walk out, swim a little with the dolphins and head back into the room and open my eyes in this world.